Why She Couldn't Be Touched (fiction)

PART ONE:
"So why don't you just go talk to her Erin?" asked Marlene.
Erin gave Marlene a look that could cut through flesh and sipped nervously at her drink. She glanced over towards the bar, looking at the woman in question and sighed. She turned back to Marlene and chuckled half-heartedly. "I'm sure YOU just go running up to every cute guy that turns your head and just hit on them." Marlene grinned lewdly and said "As a matter of fact honey I did when I was single. How do you think I met Rick?"
Erin frowned at Marlene and playfully stuck her tongue out, and turned her gaze back to the bar. She was staring, from a respectable distance, at Nadia James. Nadia was a bartender at Every Flavour, the nightclub Erin and Marlene frequented. As she had been doing nearly every night for over two months, Erin was gazing at Nadia, longing to even just say hello, turning away whenever Nadia looked in her direction.
Erin was a young lesbian who had been single for three years, though not for lack of sex appeal. She was strikingly beautiful. She had large, piercing hazel eyes,soft peach-colored skin, full inviting lips, firm, sexy breasts, and short-cropped, feathered mahogany hair. She was mature, sexy, and intelligent.
The problem for Erin is that most of the lesbians she knew in Vancouver were already spoken for, or were too aggressive or flighty for her own comfort. So she hadn't dated in a long time, and truly hadn't even thought about until Nadia began working at the bar. When Nadia started working at the club, Erin took notice, and wasn't quite sure why.
Nadia's looks were part of it, she thought. Nadia was quietly gorgeous, as if she wanted to leave a lasting impression without being noticed. Her hair was silky and black, cut into a chin-length Betti Page style with a nice shine. Her make-up, usually in soft violet hues, was tasteful and understated, and while her skin was terribly pale, almost milk-white, it had a glow about it. She had a near-perfect hourglass figure highlighted by a set of large, perfect breasts that would have commanded everyone's attention if not for the restrictive bra she wore to keep them in place.
Erin was drawn to Nadia's looks, to be sure, but there was something else, something intangibly appealing about her. Nadia was very talented at mixing drinks but was otherwise very shy and withdrawn. She had a very unassuming personality. She was in fact, painfully shy, and therein lay the problem. Erin was afraid if she approached Nadia, she'd drive the poor girl further into her shell.
Marlene polished off her drink and tugged at Erin's shirt to get her attention.
"Sweetie, you are THE saddest lezbo I have EVER met in my life!" she scolded. "Why do you sit here nursing a rye and Coke when it's painfully obvious you have the hots for that girl? Especially since she has a crush on you too?"
"Oh come on!" Erin scoffed. "How do you know she's even gay? She never talks to anyone except to take their drink order!"
"Trust me," said Marlene confidently, "I KNOW. First of all, I've watched guys try to hit on her while I was at the bar, to which she always replies with a very icy notification that she doesn't date men, period. Secondly, I've seen her staring at you with the same stupid longing puppydog look you always have when you look at her. Finally, remember the night you forgot your purple silk scarf here?"
"Yes?" Erin replied.
"Well, Nadia's the one who found it that night, and I saw her clutching it to her heart for a few minutes before she gave it to Jeff to place in the lost and found. Trust me girl, she's as much a carpet muncher as you are, and she likes you."
Erin looked back towards Nadia, and caught Nadia staring. Nadia quickly looked away, pretending she was cleaning shotglasses. Erin smiled a little, realizing maybe Marlene was right. She looked back at Marlene, still worried that it wasn't a good idea to approach Nadia. Marlene was standing up. She put a hand on Erin's shoulder and looked at her like a stern older sister.
"Look hon, you can stay here and be single all you want, but I don't have to watch. I'm going to go sneak Rick into the ladie's room and fuck him stupid for a few minutes. Later sweetie."
Marlene kissed Erin's cheek and sauntered off to nab her boyfriend from the dancefloor. Erin watched her sashay away, and looked down at her drink. After thinking quietly to herself for a few minutes, she abruptly chugged the rest of her drink and looked back over at Nadia. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
"What the hell?" she said to herself, and got up to head to the bar.
Erin took up a seat at Nadia's end of the bar and waved her over. When Nadia saw her, she got visibly flustered for a minute. Then she took a few deep breaths to steady herself and came over to Erin's stool.
"Um, hi Erin. What, uh, what can I get for you tonight?" she asked nervously. Erin looked Nadia over for a second, letting her eyes devour the shy bartender, and smiled.
"I think I'd like something...sweet," she cooed. Nadia blushed, and became even more nervous, unable to stammer out anything more than "Um, uh, I...". Erin's heart sank. "I'm sorry," she said, "I'm making you uncomfortable. I'll leave you alone."
Erin got up to leave, only to feel a small hand suddenly clutching hers. She turned back to Nadia, to find her staring, holding her hand.
"Please," Nadia said quietly, before pulling her hand back, "don't go." Erin smiled, and sat back down.
"Marlene was right," said Erin happily, "you DO have a crush on me."
Nadia frowned. "Marlene should learn not to get people who can tell the bouncers where she and Rick are fucking into trouble with beautiful women they'd rather not bother," she said with a mix of discomfort and relief. "I'm really sorry she troubled you with this."
"It's no trouble sweetie," said Erin, " I think you're pretty beautiful yourself."
Nadia got flustered again, and tried to avoid eye contact. She tried to find another customer to serve, but this time it was Erin's hand reaching out to stop Nadia.
"Nadia?" she asked. "Why are you so afraid of me? I'm not going to hurt you."
"You don't need to be bothered with a nobody like me," she sad, a little sadly.
"Sweetie," Erin said warmly, "I don't think you're a nobody. I think you're a sweet beautiful woman, if a little too shy, and I'd really like to be friends with you."
"Friends?" Nadia asked, thinking on those words for a moment. "Friends... is okay. I can do friends. Friends is good."
"Relax Nadia," Erin laughed, "I wasn't planning on tearing your clothes off and fucking you on the spot!"
Nadia smiled nervously. "That's good," she said, "I wouldn't have appreciated that."
"Why not?" Erin asked.
"Well, for one thing, I'm a virgin," Nadia said bluntly.
"Oh really?" Erin said. "Well, that's explains why you're so shy, but it's probably the last reason you should be single."
"I have... other reasons," Nadia said quietly.
"And what are those?" Erin asked.
Nadia fell silent for a moment, looking down at the floor, desperate to avoid Erin's eyes. "They're personal. I don't wish to discuss them, if you don't mind."
"That's okay sweetie," Erin said. "Everyone has their secrets. Anyway, it's almost closing time. Can I buy you a coffee?"
Nadia let a smile slip through, and she nodded. "I don't drink coffee, but just let me close up for Jeff and I'll meet you at Blenz on Davie in a half hour."
Erin smiled and left for the coffee shop with a spring in her step. True to her word, Nadia showed up shortly afterward. She bought herself a chocolate milk and looked for Erin's table. She found her in the corner, reading an X-Tra West and frowning.
"Something wrong?" asked Nadia. Erin looked up, momentarily startled.
"Oh, hi!" she said. "Yeah, I'm just reading an article about gays against same-sex marriage. It just pisses me off sometimes that some people in our community think fucking as many people as possible is a better way to celebrate our community than to make sure we have the same rights and options as everyone else."
"Marriage is important to you?" Nadia asked, sipping her drink.
"Yes," Erin replied, "it is. When I find the woman I want to spend my whole life with," she let her eyes meet Nadia's for a moment, then continued, "well, I want to be able to stand up in front of my friends and loved ones and say 'I do', you know?"
"I suppose," Nadia said. "Good thing it's legal then I guess. I never thought about Marriage much though. I've never even been kissed."
Erin felt very sad for Nadia, but at the same time wondered what her big secret was that made her so uncomfortable around people. She decided not to pursue it for the moment though, as she really liked Nadia and wanted to get close to her.
The two of them talked over their coffee and chocolate milk until the sun rose, and did so for many nights afterwards. They talked about nearly everything. They discussed politics, movies, their hobbies, their pets, and their hopes and dreams. Erin told Nadia about her childhood in Vernon BC, about the rough time she had in high school, and how her mother, a single parent and a catholic, had disowned her when she came out. Nadia would say only that her parents were hardcore fundamentalist Christians who hated her and shipped her off to foster homes when she was 14, but again, Erin felt like there was something Nadia wasn't telling her.
As the weeks turned into months, the two women spent a lot of time together, and Erin knew that she had fallen in love with Nadia. She was one of the sweetest, most genuine women Erin had ever met, except for the big, intangible secret, but Erin could overlook that. After all, we all have secrets, Erin thought. Besides, Erin was certain that Nadia felt the same way, because of the way that Nadia shivered whenever Erin touched her hand.
One night after work, Nadia was letting Erin walk her home. She was describing how lovely she thought the stars over Grouse mountain looked that night, and Erin decided she was ready to make a move on her................................
By Penny Sautereau
Part 2 tomorrow