Dark, and Somewhat Delightful

“Well.. this is certainly... hmmm I don't seem to really know a word that combines cool and mildly disturbing” Was what I first thought to myself when I first beheld the Dark Delights store after randomly clicking on their link in the LM search. What I saw there.... will have to wait until the second paragraph. Why you ask? Well because everything should start with a little foreplay.

(Well that and the whole “mature content” thing.) So read on dear reader and join me for another edition of Joan Sweetwater, Succubus at Large.

I'm going to assume that by now you've clicked passed the annoying little “Are you 18 or older” link, therefore proving beyond a shadow of a doubt your adultivity. (Because none who is below 18 could possibly hope to overcome that high tech obstacle.)

So let me tell you the first thing I saw when I entered was a centaur avatar for sale. And I'm certain it would get me in trouble with my editors to describe in detail exactly how anatomically correct that avatar is and the poses that go with it, so use your imagination. (hmm I wonder how many readers have been scared for life by the mental image? Oh well, to late. :-P)

So, Dark Delights, what the fuck is it? Well it's a tropical island sim featuring a nude beach, a jungle (with some hidden surprises for the adventurous) and the Dark Delights store, which to me was the main attraction, so I'll begin by discussing it.

I want to say two things right off the bat here, the Dark Delights store is both very complete and rather expensive. (Certainly too expensive for a newbie redlight reporter.) The store itself is something of an open air mall, with all three levels able to see the sky, allowing shoppers to easily fly between levels. The upper tier focuses on nude avatars (the best kind in my opinion ^_^), offering the aforementioned centaur avi in male, female and shemale variants, demon skins, wings both angelic and demonic, various types of cocks (cock, tail-cocks, horse-cocks... who knew a dick could come is so many varieties.... well obviously I did, but I can't hold everyone to my immaculate standard) and hud driven nipples, fun fun.

The second tier is a bit more varied, at least doing lip service to the idea of clothing, though I found the clothes offered to be lacking in variety and generally uninspired. I mean who really wants to buy 80 different variety's of a ripped tank top at 200L a pop? And 600L for a pair of boots? Ya, not me,but maybe I'm just cheap.

The ground floor was rather interesting with a strong focus on BDSM toys, as well a board of freebie stuff. It offers everything from some basic forniphilia slave-to-furniture gear, to numerous high-looking erotic torture devices (though they appeared to possess limited functionality) to toilet play to bestiality. Shoppers are welcome to try out these wares but real sex is discouraged, as is unsolicited IMing of fellow shoppers, though I was hit on twice in the three times I visited that store. (I guess everyone just wants to fuck the news girl ^_^)

Once I got out into the island proper I was greeted by the verrrry friendly natives on the island. Particularly on the nude beach. (I was there for under five minutes before I had two different guys trying to pick me up.) So its perhaps not the place for nudist women to go for some relaxation. (Unless you count sex as relaxation like I do.) And I'm sorry whatever you name is, but “You can write about me” is not a good pick-up line. (Come on people, I expect better from you)

Moving on from there I explored the jungle, to find it was not exactly unoccupied ^_^. I discovered that for a women who'd like enjoy some relatively private bestiality with the cute but not so innocent animals or tentacle sex in a tropical setting this place is pretty good particularly if you love to be rewarded for exploration. That said though this island is definitely not the best place for any kind of large scale orgy, as actual sex balls are few and most of them are for women who feel like getting fucked by something non-human.

And lastly I would be remiss if I did not mention the music, light relaxing electronica and classical mixed with deeply erotic female moaning, very well done and very very arousing. (Which I'm actually kinda mad about since it kept distracting me from writing this article ^_^)

So now at last we move to my final thoughts on the whole experience, and honestly I sort of torn to render a final verdict on the place, on the one hand I appreciate the variety of toys and skins offered by the store, I absolutely adore the music and I love being rewarded for jungle exploration with fun tentacle and bestial sex as well as a nice hideaway I found later in a tree. On the other hand many of the wares at Dark Delights are rather expensive and I can not honestly recommend this place to either single girls who just want to relax at a beach or to couples looking for somewhere to enjoy strait, lesbian or gay sex. There are just simply better places to go for these things then this. So ultimately what Dark Delights offers to you depends on what your looking for.

Joan Sweetwater

You don't know Jack.... err Joan

Well sweet, I finally got my first article in SL-newspaper.com. I even have my own office now and everything.(Though there were a few slight problems with setting up my office, as the picture shows... I wonder what James is going to think of his new office ^_^)

After a quick overview of my extensive vocabulary the word that comes to mind that best describes this situation is W000T. Thats spelt with zeros not Os in case you were wondering. So readers, I am officially the new Red Light Reporter, now I don't want to say that I'm going to make you all my bitches just yet, I'm just saying that if you dropped your pants now and assumed the position, you might save us both some time. ;-p

Well what to follow up with then? How can I deliver the best coverage of all things sexy and erotic in Second Life? Well the first thing I want to do is make my e-mail available to any reader who wants it. Do you have a story you think would be cool? An event or place you want me to cover? A suggestion for the type of content you'd like to see me do? A question or concern that only I in my infinite wisdom can possibly hope to resolve? Do you want to send me a deluge of poorly thought out hate-mail telling me how I'm a horrible sinner who is corrupting the youth of your particular nation? (Please be sure to specify which nation people. I try to keep a global perspective). Are you a creepy stalker who is convinced we're madly in love with each other and are destined to be together despite the fact I've never met you. (In which case I'd love to set up an interview.) Do you want to just beg for sex? If so then readers can either send me an IM or can e-mail me js(dot)ethicalslut(at)gmail(dot)com I will try to respond to every IM or e-mail I get, I might even post responses to some of the more amusing ones in the paper. And why the fucked up way of or writing the e-mail you ask? Well because the only bot I want fucking with me is my new vibrator.

Now that that is out of the way, perhaps it's time for an actual introduction about me. (Not like that little “Next Joan introduces herself.” Bah that was an review not an introduction *shakes fist*) Well my name is Joan, not Joan Sweetwater but I'd rather keep my real last name private. I'm a bi-sexual sub/dom switch and a hardcore gamer girl.I also live with with my twin sister Arc (yes that's right... twins ^_^ I'll give you a few moments to fantasize about that........... ok back? No? Well too bad.)

Unlike some newbies I was neither shocked nor horrified by the so called “seedier side” of Second Life. After all the existence of wild sex orgy palaces seemed to me to be the logical conclusion of unrestricted user-generated content. In fact one of the first places I visited was a place called Bukkake Bliss, and I can tell you pretty much how that conversation went:

Me: “Oh cool it's raining it here.”

Arc: * Looks over at the screen * “Umm sis? That ain't rain.”

Me: “............................. Even better.”

(Feel free to imagine a hot makeout session between my sister and I here............................... ok back? Ya I wouldn't be either.)

Of course it wasn't long before some guy hit on me, asking to fuck, so I smiled and said yes and he showed me how to take off my clothes and use poseballs. Soon after that I was bent over mushroom with his hard cock in my tight ass while pearly cum rained down on me from the sky. So all in all a good first hour in Second Life. ^_^

Joan Sweetwater

js(dot)ethicalslut(at)gmail(dot)com

If You Build It?

If there is one thing I've learned in my period in Second Life, it's that the saying "If you build it, they will come." is not always as true as it should be.
I'm sure most readers who enjoy exploration will have at some point stumbled across an awesome sim or location, only to find it completely fucking deserted, without even a tumbleweed to grace it's empty streets. (And for those readers who find the word fuck offensive. I would suggest you are perhaps reading the wrong section.) It was at one of these places my first adventure into the world of reporting began, at the Vampire Succubus Club.

But by now your asking yourself, "Who the hell are you? I came for Penance Sautereau's special brand of hotness. Why am I reading you instead? Has a band of ingenious hackers seized SL-NEWSPAPER.com? Has the very fabric or reality itself been torn asunder?" No dear reader, I am moderately certain that neither is case. My name is Joan Sweetwater, Succubus at Large. Bios can wait until later but it was early this morning, a friend of mine and columnist for the SL-Newspaper (Christina Munro) brought me to her offices and showed me around.

A while after that I started talking to one Dana Vanmoer (COO of SL-Newspaper) who offered me a spot in the Red Light Section. While we were talking I received a party invite to the Vampire Succubus Club's post inauguration party. I mentioned this and Dana said I should go and write a story about it to see how I fare. So being a good little Succubus I grabbed my red goth garb and reporter cap and headed out the proverbial door to the Vampire Succubus Club.

I had been there twice before briefly, doing my usual random explorations of all places sexy in Second Life. When I got there I had been rather impressed by the techno-gothic decor and the pounding electroica music. Unfortunately the place was all but empty with only a few girls there who studiously ignored my presence. But shrugging my shoulders I explored around a bit, finding the place to be quite friendly to Bloodlines Vampires with several shops on the upper levels as well as friendly to those who do not wish to be vampires, as I discovered a free garlic clove necklace dispenser in a hidden lower level. (Thats right readers Secret passages Ooooooo)

On my second trip I spoke to the owner of the Vampire Succubus club who was lounging alone in his club, and he informed me that they usually host parties at noon SL. So, resolving to return the next day for the aforementioned party, I departed.

Now before I continue a bit of information about the Vampire Succubus Club is in order. Now the club obviously caters to Vampires and Demons of all sorts and sizes. Roleplaying is encouraged but public sex is disallowed, though the owner confessed to me that he wouldn't have minded public displays of lust were it not for "All the fucking drama bullshit" that comes with it. It also offers jobs ranging from DJing to Dancing to Waitressing. And let me not forget to mention that it offers contests as well.

The main attraction to the Vampire Succubus Club other then its music would defiantly have to be its dance floor. For those of you who love setting your own grove this place is for you, it offers dozens of unique dancing styles just on the dance floor alone. Nevermind the numerous stripper poles spread throughout the club, as well as a small sub/dom area for those AFKers who still want to look dead sexy rather then dead tired. And though I did not get to witness it myself, the owner did mention something he referred to only as "the tentacle event." ^_^

So filled with fond hopes of both a kickass party and a good first story, I arrived at the Vampire Succubus Club. Well that is perhaps is a bit optimistic, better to say I arrived I a forest of grey polygons with a few will-o-wisps which over the next 5 minutes slowly transformed into the Vampire Succubus Club. But then it's not fair to judge them on SL issues beyond their control so I won't.

When I finally rezzed I found myself alone with only the sexy DJ (Antaris Gothly) and a hostess present, both decked out in frilly and rather revealing (yay) red, white, and blue outfits. But hey, no worries right? The party hadn't even really started yet; Unfortunately it never really did. Despite the club's general ass-kickery and the live DJ, the only other attendee who stuck around for more then a few minutes was my horny as hell girlfriend (who shall at this juncture remain anonymous), who spent the next 45 minutes alternating between telling me how much she loved the place and generally acting like the lusty kitten she is, selecting a dance that had her grinding her sexy body against the ground before finally convincing me my attentions needed to be directed elsewhere

So thus ended my adventures at the Vampire Succubus Club, getting (quite willingly) dragged off by my girlfriend for some bedroom adventures.

Final thoughts? The Vampire Succubus Club is an example of locations that simply don't get the respect and love they deserve. I could see myself hanging out there for days had there actually been people attending who weren't simply being paid to be there. The techno-gothic decor matched with the electronica music combined with the promise of a "tentacle event" should in theory equal awesome. But sadly: If you build it, they might not come. (Though I defiantly did later.. and repeatedly. ;-) But that's another story.)

Joan Sweetwater

Succubus at Large